You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
