if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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