ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
