U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
