Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
