You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
