dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you win again, gameday.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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