I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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