we're blogging at a bar
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
