So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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