Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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