The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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