Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
