I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
