So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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