Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
