Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
