I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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