He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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