I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
