I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize