Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
