it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
