So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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