i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
