Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im holly from the hills drunk
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
