Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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