he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
