she smelled like a LAN party
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
