That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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