WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
