there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
