i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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