Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
