i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
