And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
