that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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