we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
vagina is talking i cant
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
