If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
