i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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