True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Help. Why am I so naked?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
