Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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