Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
