I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm at about main and main street
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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