the new term for farting is butt boxing.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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