He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
