I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
