She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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