Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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