Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
