well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize