I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
