Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
