the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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