what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
