I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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