between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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