Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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