I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize