apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
