I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
