you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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