Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you never un-have a 4some
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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